Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Ah my life ... What is happening to my life? I miss my home, my family , my land! It's been so long since I'm in T.O and for what???? Education!

I mean I left everyone behind me (& I mean it Everyone!) just to start all over where no one knows my name!

Hell it's been a year and half since I've moved here and now I want to go to any other place! Not Oman, nah I hate my homeland already - too many issues to deal with over there - I don't know I need to start all over again but of course I can't do that till I finish my program at Seneca College. By then I will be able to stand without leaning on my father's back.

I am so sad these days, I can't sleep, can't think and can't stop complaining about life ??? I have done myself wrong with my bad choices and now who is suffering? Just me, myself and I ... It's hard to make a face, a happy face and it's harder to keep a smile, a fake smile ... I truly miss my old self: my inner side that I've lost. That part of me is buried deep inside, through pain and choices I've made in hopes of being mature but that's not where my happiness lays .. I look at the mirror and say "Sabra, sometimes a lie is the best thing!" could it be the best thing !!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are a great soul, that's true.
Emotional roller-coasters are normal, you are in trouble by several reasons,

normal school stress, marks, separated from home, a bit alone, you have no one who takes you in his arms, your future is uncertain, perhaps you think of immigrating to a western country, so many issues and a young girl,

but being self-confident she will manage the problems, women are so strong, and life will always have difficulties to manage for us but also fun and joy when we succeed or even tried

so don't be too pessimistic, sun will rise soon, believe it