Tuesday, October 05, 2010

It's funny how life is, how this whole thing came about, how it crushed me and made me fell into dust yet I'm still here able to write..

A whole year went by, and with sadness I have to deliver this news to you today; it's official world, I'm really homeless. I moved into the shelter two months ago, my friends have abounded me, my family have disowned me, the whole world have darkened my spirit and soul. 

Sometime in 2009 I finished my studies, after a hard struggle of a sexual assault, after court days and nights of horror, I was able to graduate from school. I wasn't happy coz I was broken by two evil spirited men, no one understood me, no one offered me to heal, I wasn't ready to go out to the real world while bleeding but hey I went out still. 

Slowly I kept falling, slowly I kept losing me and still no one noticed, no one offered to help, no one. I kept  thinking to myself how did I end up here in this shelter, I don't know!!!! I don't know world... But it didn't happen in a day or night, it happened slowly, so very slowly that it was easily prevented if someone reached out to pull me up, but no one did..

I now see, this world we are in, is a very mean cruel world. People are fake, families are too busy pretending. Now I understand how my father felt when he said I was a mistake that shouldn't have happened. 
Now I know how my mother felt leaving me at the age of nine with two younger siblings and a drunk father to deal with. 
Now I know how all that was possible because I'm able to see clearly from down here.