From time to time, I get a wired argue to start over. To clean my mess, and to clear my life with people that are mentally disturbed (believe me there are plenty of them)! Also to get away from those who don't seem to understand me, even if they tried. And with this aruge a decision must be made and an action must be taken. So I sit down with myself and scan the people I know in my life whether friends or mates, to check what did they bring into our share account of our relation.

So I sort these people out; some never gave in return and some took as much as they gave! Some love to stab me yet hold me as a friend and some loves to protect me till the end. Then I separate the good from the bad and I give permission for those good ones to stick around me. And the bad ones, I simply cross out! For life my friend is full of different people and different level of lessons that we must teach and learn from each other. Your job is to learn openly and give a unique lesson back then decide if you want to walk tougher or just walk alone with the lesson learned.

I don't know if am making any sense here but any ways am going through change and God I love change. I have opened a new chapter in my life, cleaned my act and paid my dues! I have walked out on some people I once called friends, I once cared for and even loved! Ironically they might not even know that I have walked on them, but with peace and perfect love I have! I embraced the experience I had with each of them knowing in my heart that am grateful for meeting such people and forever I'd be.

I have changed my contact number just in case they want to reach me. Yes I have cleared my act! Am start a new me, for that I had to decide what is my past and leave it behind my back, just walk on Sabra walk on. There is no way back!

But even with that, I kept a disturbed soul beside me, just for hopes of not being alone. Mmmm I wonder what loneliness really is! And this soul yesterday abused me, I took the phone and dialed 911 asked for police and the phone got cut. I hared sorry and please don't please! The operator called me back and I said it's ok I don't need the cops no more. Sabra, why can't I always get the job done. Just break of this prison and set myself free for I know no one is willing to save me. So I got to save me ....

One day, someday I will be so FREE ..

Do you remember Sabra? the girl who used to be so hyper at Friday's arrival! All that changed now and many more changes she has to embrace and welcome with wide arms. But I'm so tired of a world where you have to struggle to be someone; where you let joy pass you and love too, just so that you can be someone! Where you ignore those who hold you down just to have your full attention on being someone.

"Life is never fair!" I keep reminding myself whenever I want to hold my joys! You see, the people who bring me joy walk out on me easily, I run to them and I make my move but hey Sabra, let go for life is never fair!



I tried to get an appointment made today with my Prof. Peter and he said "You know your PUSHY?" I gave him one of my denial looks -wide eyes opened- he laughed and said "Lets be real, there is no need to pretend here. You know that you are a pushy person?"
"Yeah but!" I said, he stopped me right there and then saying: "You want to meet me for your career but you know that will be done next semester?" I said: "Yes I understand BUT I want to do it now" . "See Pushy!" He remarked!!!!!



I went out of the room and asked JoJo "Am I pushy? I mean I know am aggressive but pushy, how would Peter know that?"

JoJo said: "Yes you are pushy..... Believe me he KNOWS!" LOOL I know its always about me, but yeah I do care about others too..



Well yes I was hurt :p but at least I know that its one of my personnel traits not something that would just pop out of no where when am not sober, nah its in me. It might be genetics or maybe not! It doesn't matter as long as I don't harm others with my uniqueness :D

today i got the news that last night my cousin passed away! I miss her already long before I came here and now that am away it hurts knowing i wont see her again. She seriously touched my life in a way i would never forget. All i want to do is close my eyes but it hurts. Am so far away from their cries, therefore today i cry alone! RIP Aisha, in my heart you will always live on.....................................

Today I got board at Peter's class although he is my favorite teacher but eh he kept talking about numbers (Oh my I need help on that) .. Anyways I started drawing shit mmm okay I call it bites of my life, so I sketched some bites of my emotions and stuff ya know quick b4 Peter caught me in action (he was right behind my shoulder watching me thn yelled 2 find a circle on my screen) loool. Anyways, here are my sketch not perfect but original :p enjoy 'em and be warned some of them might represent moments with you in my life grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ....