It has been 583 days since I last been home, I miss my family and friends. I miss my land and I miss my sand. I miss the beaches and I miss the sun, oh I miss everyone! I don't know when will I stop counting but god I wish if I was the one! I wish if I was the one who will go back to visit, to see their smile and feel the warmth between their arms. I don't even know how to approach my friends, god its been so long! Whenever I write them I end up not sending or canceling my message! O I just don't know what to say, its been so long and part of me is dead. Maybe they feel the same way, maybe they died on me too and maybe just maybe they wouldn't love the new me now!
Every time I think of going home, I push that idea far away! God I don't know how shock they will be, maybe after all I remained the same and they have changed!! I tried to get in touch with some of them but no answer on the telephone!!!! I remember the life I had back home, despite the bad side of it and the pain, there was a great deal of joy and pleasure. Yes I was a fighter, and yes I couldn't handle more of their crap thats why I turned my back on my own people. But that doesn't mean I stopped loving them, never ...
For 583 days I remembered what brought me here beside the education quest -well a girl had to come up with reasons for flying over- I remember what made me be the distanced girl who never showed up again not for a visit.
I always remember and laugh, sometimes alone and sometimes I pass the story along! Oh I miss you my homeland, I miss you so much. Miss stepping on the sand on my dad's villa, miss walking on the beach beside my Aunt villa and miss hanging out with friends who made me cry and laugh more times.
For 583 days am wondering of my visit back home, when will it be if ever ???? Now I pass cross some class mates who are dropping off summer semester to go visit their homeland and I then wonder "Sabra when will I get to visit???" ............... 586 days and I still wonder :-(